Why women date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital affairs can be filled with evils, cause heartache, and other troubles. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discreet dating for married.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I am conserned mainly though it is only the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.
Naturally we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us get away the real world for a small period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels elevated enough. Someone can switch the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against affairs. For many people the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You will need to minimize the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest grouping, gigantic in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel comfortable in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sorrowfully this is a frequent groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a man I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, could be caring is vanished, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have just developed distantly, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposed to of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.